Synic Selects Vol. VI - The Over-Playlist

 Truth be told, guys, I really didn't know how to follow my last Synic Selects compilation. The Songs That Shaped Me was deeply personal, and writing it was immensely reflective, nostalgic, and just plain fun to throw together. So how the hell do I follow that?

Then I realized, you guys have heard enough gushing from me about the handful of bands listed below, maybe it's time I talk some shit about them. Nobody's perfect, and my favorite bands are no exception to the rule. So below is a collection of the songs I find to be the most overrated, by the bands that I hold the highest above the rest. Keep in mind that I am not saying the songs below are each band's worst song, just simply the one I consider to be the most overrated. So remember that before your feelings get hurt.

Hope you get a kick out of it, though admittedly all I could do was cringe while putting this playlist together.

1. AC/DC - Shoot To Thrill

It's no secret to any of you that AC/DC are my favorite band of all time. That in mind, it is my belief that every song they've ever shat out is pure gold. Or multi-platinum, in the case of 1980's Back In Black. BIB is the band's massive break-through record featuring 10 tracks, 10 hits. Here we are now, 40 years later and you still can't listen to classic rock radio for an hour without hearing one of the songs from this record. However, I can almost guarantee that it will pretty much always be either "Hell's Bells," "You Shook Me...," "Back In Black," or "Shoot To Thrill." But... why? In a 5-star record such as this how can you possibly select just a small handful to keep in the regular shuffle 40 years later? I especially find myself questioning the longevity of the powerful-yet-generic "Shoot To Thrill." If anything, this song to me, purely exists to foreshadow the bands plummet down the rabbit hole of writing songs exclusively about rock n roll and sex. So why is "Shoot To Thrill" a setlist staple for the band, but the tragically under appreciated "What Do You Do For Money Honey," "Let Me Put My Love Into You," and "Shake A Leg" are widely ignored? Riddle me that.

2. The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

Every novice Offspring fan's favorite song, every true long-time Offspring fan's least favorite. I will admit, there was a time when I truly loved this song. Maybe a part of me still does. But there is no reason why this song was such a massive hit, and now permanent setlist fixture, for an established PUNK band. Granted, The Offspring sway from the punk definition on every record, but very rarely do one of these odd tracks become such a beloved track. Americana contains two such songs: "Pretty Fly" and "Why Don't You Get A Job?" If "Get A Job" charted higher than "Pretty Fly," then that one would have made the list instead.

3. Van Halen - Jump

Van Halen's ONLY #1 song. Why? Because it's the most typical-80s crap the band ever produced. Guitar God Eddie Van Halen wicked around with a synthesizer and wrote a silly tune so dumb that even Dave didn't want to write lyrics to it. When he finally did, he wrote them about a man on a ledge who didn't have the balls to jump. True story. So let me be clear here: fuck "Jump." So before you hop on the bandwagon and blame Sammy Hagar for the band's transition to synthesizers instead of face-melting riffs, blame the success of this atrocity of a song.

4. Halestorm - Do Not Disturb

I did not immediately dislike this song when I first heard it, but I didn't necessarily love it either. Truth be told, anything Lzzy and Co. produce is something I will most likely enjoy. But this song is one that I quickly grew tired of. Lyrically, its arousing and dirty rock n roll, which you know I love. But sonically? It's very meh. It's entirely rhythm driven, with a rather boring rhythm that the entire composition is based around. Complete with a somewhat forgettable guitar riff, I find myself wondering why this song was a lead single rather than some of the stronger tracks that come later on the record.

5. Disturbed - Stupify

I could talk for HOURS about how important to me The Sickness is. I love this album. I don't love every track, in fact there are a couple that I will skip 9 out of 10 times. While Stupify is not my least favorite track on the record, it is the highest-charting track that I often find myself skipping and wondering why it is such a staple for the band's live show. Maybe it is because of the band-crowd interaction it inspires, "all the people in the left wing... all the people in the right wing... etc," but regardless, The Sickness contains other tracks that I find to be far superior and under-appreciated compared to this one. "God of the Mind" and "Meaning of Life" specifically come to mind.

6. Joan Jett - Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah!)

One of Joan Jett's long string of hits that she didn't write. I love Joan Jett, I can't imagine a world without her, but look at her setlists from the last 30 years. if she plays 16 songs, 14-15 of them are covers. So of all of these, why did I pick "Do You Wanna Touch Me?" Easy. Gary Glitter. Not only is the song itself just simply mindless and dumb, but Gary Glitter himself is a truly disgusting human being. Browse his wikipedia page if you are unfamiliar, then forget he ever existed and pretend that Joan wrote this song herself, like the rest of the world has been doing since 1981. 

7. Stevie Ray Vaughan - Pride & Joy

Refer to my earlier point about "Shoot To Thrill." Over the course of his career, SRV wrote countless blues jams and powerful riffs that redefined Texas blues-rock. So why is it that when you turn on the radio and IF he comes on at all, it is ALWAYS "Pride & Joy?" Explain this to me. Please. I could blindly pull a song from his discography and I guarantee I will have pulled a lesser-known track that I would rather listen to 10/10 times over P&J. Is it a bad song? Of course not. But SRV definitely has better.

8. Warrant - Cherry Pie

This is a song that even the band wishes didn't exist. When they were cutting their sophomore record, Warrant originally intended for it to be titled after the lead single, "Uncle Tom's Cabin," however the record company felt that they needed a stronger, more anthemic track to serve as the lead single. So, an annoyed band wrote and slapped together "Cherry Pie," one of their biggest hits (and permanent encore track) ever. An obvious and lazy metaphor, with obnoxious and repetitive lyrics. I find it personally offensive that something as lyrically juvenile could ever supersede something as brilliantly written as "Uncle Tom's Cabin." There are several other tracks on this record that I believe far outshine "Cherry Pie" as well. Needless to say, if I were building a Warrant mixtape, "Cherry Pie" would be the LAST track I thought to include.

9. Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home

Full disclosure, I don't have much to say about this one. It's a good power ballad, but they have better songs than this one. I listen to it regularly, but it is far from my favorite of their catalogue.

10. Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding

This is the only charting single from 5FDP's debut record. Even from someone who loves metal such as myself, this one is too much for me. It is instrumentally disengaging, and the vocals are very tragically delivered. Ivan sacrifices his surprisingly beautiful singing voice for his agonizingly abrasive screams and wails. Good news, though. The album includes an acoustic version of the song as a bonus track. The bad news, it's somehow just as bad as the original. Of all the songs on this playlist, there are really only two that I truly dislike. This is one of them.

11. Nickelback - Photograph

This is the other one.

12. Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

The iconic riff to this came from a warm-up session Slash was noodling around with before heading into the studio to record Appetite For Destruction. Axl loved the riff so much he demanded they record it. So they had a full tracks worth of guitar, bass and drums, but they only had half a song's worth of lyrics. So in the studio, Axl found himself asking the band "Where do we go now? Where do we go?" But they ran out of ideas, so they recorded 2 minutes worth of "Where do we go now?" This is arguably one of the most iconic rock songs ever recorded, but it is far from the best track on Appetite. (Looking at you, Nightrain...)

Bonus: "Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins

This is far from being "Weird Al"'s highest-charting track, but it IS a parody of the also overrated "American Pie" by Don McClean. The lyrics are simply a synopsis of The Phantom Menace, which is Episode 1 of the ALSO highly-overrated Star Wars movie franchise. What's more, this song will be 50% of Al's encores at every live show he will perform from 1999 to present. That said, I will still sing every word along with him when I am in the audience, but I will also tell you 10/10 times that I would've rather heard literally any other song that he recorded. Enough is enough, bro.

So anyway, that's it. You made it to the end. Congratulations. Or should I say I'm sorry? Either way, thanks for tuning in.

Synic Selects Vol. VI: The Over-Playlist

1. AC/DC - Shoot To Thrill

2. The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)

3. Van Halen - Jump

4. Halestorm - Do Not Disturb

5. Disturbed - Stupify

6. Joan Jett - Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah!)

7. Stevie Ray Vaughan - Pride & Joy

8. Warrant - Cherry Pie

9. Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home

10. Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding

11. Nickelback - Photograph

12. Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

Bonus: "Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins

Wealth of Time - Pepe and The Bandits

 Here's a nice and easy one for you. By request, the gang over at Pepe and The Bandits sent me their latest single, "Wealth of Time," and asked that I might provide some feedback on it. I'm not super big on reviewing singles, as I feel it doesn't really give me enough insight as to who the band truly is and who they are trying to be, however I am not one to turn down an artist who so bravely and graciously asked for my two cents. So, away we go.

"Wealth of Time" is a tender ballad about the experience of aging and our years passing us by. It features a beautiful acoustic melody, and even more beautiful lyrics. It's truly like poetry. As I have said in many previous posts, slow songs are not my favorite thing in the world. So it took me a minute to really get engaged in this track. But in my second, third, and even fourth listen of it, I started to appreciate it more and more. With every new listen I caught a different lyric, that added something new to the message of the song. So for my slow song fans out there, I do recommend you give this one a try.

In a typical Synic Spins review post, I'll give my favorite and least favorite tracks, followed by a rating of the record out of 10. Since I'm only doing one song in this case, I won't do any of that, instead I'll just briefly discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the track. The two elements of "Wealth of Time" that really stand out for me are the beautifully played acoustic guitar melody throughout the entire composition, and the lyrics themselves. Sonically, the guitar part is like a ray of sunlight breaking through the rainclouds. Cheesy metaphor, I know, but it's an accurate one, nonetheless. The lyrics are like poetry to me. Simple poetry, perhaps, as it is riddled with cliches and typical metaphors that we've all heard before. But when you consider the entire purpose of this song is to relate to those metaphors and use them as a means of comforting listeners who fear the process of growing old, it somehow works.

The biggest weaknesses, for me, are also twofold. The first glaring issue I have with this song is the spoken word part in the song's intro. There's a loud ticking clock, paired with the whispered words "There's no time..." repeated over and over. It leads me to feel almost uncomfortable and anxious, as one might feel when watching a scary movie when the protagonist enters a dark room and their flashlight is dying. Then the acoustic melody commences and that feeling drifts away, in a very sudden and confusing manner. Simply put, I'm not sure the intro really fits the whole sound and tone of the rest of the song. My other hesitation with this song, though this one is very minor compared to my first point, is the ending. It ends very abruptly on the last lyric, followed by an unsteady beeping of a heart monitor. Again, I'm not crazy about this and I don't really feel it fits all that well with the rest of the song. The beginning, sure, but the core of it? not so much.

All in all, "Wealth of Time" really comes together as a beautiful acoustic ballad. That is something I never thought I would say in one of these reviews. While I am very unsure of the intro and outro to the piece, it's the heart of the song that I really appreciated.

Everybody Else Is Taken - Pin Stripes

 Americana from Sweden. If your immediate response to that was "....what the fuck?" then we started off on the same page, as that was my gut reaction to the Pin Stripes following me on Twitter. It caught me very much by surprise to see a band from outside the US label themselves as "Americana" when ultimately Americana is only a patriotic form of folk rock that was born in, you guessed it, America. Oddly enough, the dynamic duo of Pin Stripes somehow achieves the Americana spirit and sound regardless of their country of origin. Before hitting play on the first track, I found myself forming a prejudice, as you might have expected upon reading this post's opening remark. But then it occurred to me that if IKEA can make it in America, so can Pin Stripes.

The album Everybody Else Is Taken opens with "Steel Machine," a track which, looking ahead at the tracks after it, is not the song I would've chosen to open the album. However, it does do what the opening track of a band's debut record should do. It introduces listeners to their unique brand of IKEA Rock. The track features a solid driving rhythm accompanied by an engaging acoustic riff and true-to-form Americana vocals. While it may not be as strong as some of the tracks to come, it does feature some strong vocal harmonies in the chorus.

In fact, one of the big elements that I enjoyed the most throughout the whole record were the vocal harmonies. One big gripe I have with the record is that there just wasn't enough of them. The second track of the record "Roll Me Away" features more of these harmonies than the track before, so it was a big step in the right direction.

Next comes "Blue Sky," a rhythm-driven anthem which is so true-to-form Americana, that it very closely resembles a "Death To My Hometown," a song by Americana icon Bruce Springsteen. Listen to both and you'll see what I mean. It isn't a rip-off by any means, but they share a very similar attitude and feel.

The following two tracks are, in my opinion, the strongest on the whole record. "The Preacher" has the most energy, the most attitude, and most style of the 10 track collection. What's more, I believe it also has the strongest lyrics of every track. "Fake Honey," however, cools off a little from the previous track. My favorite thing about this one is the engaging vocal pattern. Something about the singer's fluctuations in each line keep me engaged and interested throughout the whole composition.

For me, the weakest point of the record comes with "Let Me Be Me." It is not a bad song per se, however the vibe it gives off does not fit within the Americana tone that is present within every other track on the record. It almost sounds like something that would be playing at an Indian buffet. I don't know how else to describe it, listen to it and maybe you'll see what I mean.

Admittedly, I don't have much to say about the closing tracks of the album. Some of them are considerably slower than the previous ones, so my loyal readers already know that my interest in these songs is considerably lower than the previous ones. In some of these slower songs, the singer's voice and tone reminded me of White Lion singer Mike Tramp, combined with sea shanties.

As a whole, my biggest issue with the album is the way each song ends. I'm not convinced that the artist knew just how to end each song, so they just abruptly cut it off when they ran out of lyrics. After some of their strongest songs, the abrupt ending was unfortunately clunky and awkward.

Upon further reflection, I can definitely see myself listening to future releases from Pin Stripes. They're young and unique, and what I appreciate about them is that they're bringing a retired 70s rock sub-genre back to the spotlight.

Everybody Else Is Taken - Pin Stripes

4 - 17 - 2020

1. Steel Machine

2. Roll Me Away

3. Blue Sky

4. The Preacher

5. Fake Honey

6. Let Me Be Me

7. Poison Ivy

8. Wild One

9. Emily

10. The World Keeps Turning

Favorite Track: The Preacher

Least Favorite Track: Let Me Be Me

Rating: 6.4

Isotopia EP (Remastered) - Vibraveil

 Some of you guys who have found yourselves in the depths of my blog may recognize the name Vibraveil. Back in June a brave soul by the name of Nardo requested that I listen to his band's album. Well here we are, 4 months later, and the young lad Nardo decided he wanted to come back for more. This time around, however, he sent me his bands first ever EP, which had since been remastered and remixed. The EP is titled Isotopia, and going into it I thought I knew generally what to expect. I thought that because I knew Vibraveil's newest material, then I probably knew what this first EP would sound like. But boy was I wrong.

The four tracks on this EP are a bit of an auditory Whitman's Sampler. Each track is wildly different from the one before it. The opening track "Inside the Windmill," quite honestly, was the weakest of the bunch. And as soon as the song started I knew it would be. I mean, come on dude... Rain? Really? Bro. It reminds me of The Arctic Monkeys maybe, only with the tempo lowered considerably. The balance between the vocals and the instrumentation on this track works quite nicely, however.

Track 2 was something quite different. "Everyone Loves Classical Guitar" is appropriately titled, as it proves to be a beautifully composed acoustic instrumental. The first minute of the song is quite evocative, as hearing it puts me on the back of a horse riding through the old west. My only critique of this track is a harsh and abrupt transition, or tempo change, just over one minute in. Once it returns to the original melody at about 1:40ish, I'm brought right back in.

Track 3. "The Terminal Tidemaster," AKA #4 on the top 10 rejected Batman villains list. The composition features a lovely melody, in fact the riff is quite hypnotic at first. Like a Spanish guitar method of playing. It almost puts me on a nice, tranquil beachfront. My issue with this song is the vocals. The vocals on this track are turned up very high, so they almost cloak that Spanish guitar entirely. The lyrics aren't amazing, but for a band's first EP this is entirely forgivable as the songwriter likely hasn't found their voice yet. With the high notes resonating through the thinner strings of the guitar, I am looking for a deeper toned voice to balance it out. What we are given instead is a mismatched tone, where the vocals and guitar are almost competing for the spotlight.

Track 4 is the grand finale. The title track. "Isotopia." The 9 and a half minute epic that opens with what sounds like the intro sound from old Looney Tunes shorts. The riff and rhythm that follow sound almost exactly like that of "Stray Cat Strut" by The Stray Cats. Perhaps at a slower tempo. Call me crazy, but I think he's even singing in a similar style and register to Brian Setzer himself. Somewhere around 2 minutes begins a very unique guitar solo-jam-breakdown thing, that I would listen to for the whole 9 minutes and 36 seconds.

At the end of the day, upon reaching the conclusion of this newly-remastered EP, I can see how they arrived at the metal Pearl Jam / alternative Tool sound that I found on Dissolute. There really is no definitive way I can make an overarching statement about the whole EP, as it doesn't really come together as one cohesive unit. Like any EP it is simply a collection of songs to introduce listeners to the band's unique sound, and this EP certainly accomplishes that. If this EP was all I knew from Vibraveil, I know for sure that I would not have the slightest idea what to expect from their forthcoming debut album.

Hats off to you, Nardo and company. You've come a long way from Isotopia, and I very much look forward to hearing what comes next. The rating you see below might sting a little, but keep in mind that this is your early work, and you've grown considerably since then. Keep fighting the good fight.

Isotopia - Vibraveil

1. Inside The Windmill

2. Everyone Loves Classical Guitar

3. The Terminal Tidemaster

4. Isotopia

Favorite Track: Everyone Loves Classical Guitar

Least Favorite Track: Inside The Windmill

Rating: 5.6

A Distant Call - Sheer Mag

 Alright gang, before we get into it I have some questions for you to ponder:

1. What would happen if Judas Priest was a riot grrrl band?

2. What would happen if Motley Crue and The Go-Go's had a baby?

3. What would Cyndi Lauper sound like if she were in a punk rock band?

4. How do we revive 1987?

Good news, I have the answer to all 4 of the questions above. The answer? Sheer Mag.

Someone near and dear to me recently brought these guys (and gal) into my musical radar, and it was love at first listen. As many of my readers know, I am a big fan of all things punk, rock, and metal. And recently I had been on a massive female-singer binge. Well this record is an amalgamation of all those things. It's essentially riot grrrl punk rock metal salad, and that's a salad that even the most Ron Swanson of music listeners can get behind.

The record I'm talking about is A Distant Call, the sophomore record from Philadelphia punk/power pop band Sheer Mag. The album cover grabs you right away, and takes you back to the late 80s, as if you were flipping through Judas Priest records in your local shop. And the opening track doesn't fall far from the tree, either. "Steel Sharpens Steel" sounds as if a metal band wrote a punk song. Or a punk band wrote a metal song. And why is that? because one did. Them.

The tracks that follow mellow down from the high-octane opener, but that does not mean they lose their energy or their power by any means. "Blood From A Stone," "Chopping Block," and "The Killer" specifically stand out to me. Actually, after my first and second listen, it's still hard to point out one track that doesn't hold up among the rest. Writing this now I'm struggling to come up with a least favorite track.

Long story short, I am eternally grateful to the wonderful human being that brought this band into my radar. I regret the time I wasted not having heard this band before, and I look forward to the future to see where these guys (and gal) go from here. They're young, they're hungry, and they're just getting started.

A Distant Call - Sheer Mag

8 - 23 - 2019

1. Steel Sharpens Steel

2. Blood From a Stone

3. Unfound Manifest

4. Silver Line

5. Hardly To Blame

6. Cold Sword

7. Chopping Block

8. The Right Stuff

9. The Killer

10. Keep On Runnin'

Favorite Track: Steel Sharpens Steel

Least Favorite Track: Keep On Runnin'

Rating: 8.8

Synic Selects Vol. V - The Songs That Shaped Me

 Damn I really dropped the ball lately, huh? In my last post I made such a big deal out of returning to the blog after a week of inactivity, and here it's been 2 weeks without a single new post. There has been new music in that timespan, of course, but nothing that I felt the overwhelming need to discuss. So instead, I got to work on what is now SSVV. Synic Selects Vol. V: The Songs That Shaped Me. Is that title pretentious enough? I'm not sure that it is...

Anyway, I wanted to really take my time and reflect for this one, as my 5th installment of Synic Selects I felt it had to be something special. So what follows is a compilation of songs that quite literally shaped my music tastes, and made me into the cynical music snob that I am today. Some tracks will be obvious, but others may surprise you. Enjoy, and get ready to read. Maybe bring your phone to the can with you, or if you really don't give a shit about my personal connections to the music just scroll down to the end.

I. Hells Bells - AC/DC

This one should come as no surprise. It is the song that, in simplest terms, changed my life. How many songs do you have that you could tell me the exact moment you first remember hearing it? Well I can with this one. I'll spare you my retelling of this story, as I feel like I may have already given it in a previous post. If I'm wrong about that, stay tuned for a future update with the whole flashback. And although I've been banging my head to this track for many years now, something about that bell still shoots chills up my spine. Ride on, Bon.

II. Original Prankster - The Offspring

Another possibly obvious one to some of my readers, and a definitely obvious one for my family and friends. Without completely aging myself, I really feel like I grew up with The Offspring. I've known their songs for as long as I can remember, as my dad is a big fan as well. In fact, I have him to thank for my love of this song, and the band as well. Fun anecdote about this song, when I was a very young little tike, riding in the backseat of my dad's truck, cramped between my two sisters, this song came on as one of the tracks of his favorite mix CD. (It came to be known as the infamous Truck Mix in our house) It came on, and I was into it right away. However, as the second verse started, with the un-clever lyric "You know it smells like shit, God damn..." my dad cleared his throat and skipped to the next song. He didn't want his kids to be exposed to such harsh language at such an early age. But it was too late, the damage had been done. His youngest child, yours truly, spoke up: "Hey dad, can we listen to that 'you know it smells like shit' song again?" My sisters were shocked, and silence befell the truck. Finally my dad said: "Don't tell your mother" and started the song over again for me. Thanks, dad.

III. Gump - "Weird Al" Yankovic

Another obvious one. I mean, my obsession for all things Yankovic started pretty much at birth. The first CD in my collection was Bad Hair Day and the first CD I remember buying with my own money was another from Al's discography. My first favorite "Weird Al" song was Gump, and I knew all the words to it before I had even seen the movie.

IV. Right Now - Van Halen

This is not the song that made me a fan of Van Halen. The credit for that goes to Hot For Teacher and Ice Cream Man. However, this is the song that put VH as my 2nd favorite band of all time. Though, truth be told they kind of play jump rope with The Offspring for that position... The keyboard intro to Right Now, when I first heard it, gave me a similar chill to that of the church bell from Hells Bells. And any song that can make me feel that way every time without fail, deserves a spot on this list.

V. Low Rider - War

The cowbell. Oh, man, that cowbell. I fell in love with this song when my sister's high school sports band used to play it at football games every week. As soon as I heard that cowbell intro for the first time, I looked at my parents and said, with an adorable lisp, I might add, "I wanna be a percussionist." What little kid even knows that word? I did, bitch. Years later, I STILL wanna be a percussionist. Someday I'll buy me a cowbell.

VI. How You Remind Me - Nickelback

Did I lose you guys with this one? I'm sure many of you scoffed at the thought of Nickelback making the list. If you have a legitimate reason to dislike NB, fine. Skip ahead to the next song. But if you're one of those bandwagoners that hates them because internet memes told you to, get over yourself. HYRM is not their best song, in my opinion, but it is the song that introduced me to the band and made me a fan. I still remember growing up in the backseat of my mom's Buick Rendezvous singing along to this song with her.

VII. Down With The Sickness - Disturbed

I know what you're thinking, 'of all the Disturbed songs, of course it had to be THIS one... ugh, typical.' Well, yes. It had to be this one. It's not my favorite Disturbed song, not by a long shot, but it is the first metal song that I ever really loved. Say what you will about it being overplayed, but the OOWAHAHAHA really just grabs you the first time, doesn't it? This is the song that started me on the metal path. All these years later, I am a massive metal fan, and an even bigger Disturbed fan. And I can just never bring myself to skip this song when it comes on.

VIII. Born In The USA - Bruce Springsteen

If my mother ever reads this list, as soon as she sees this song she'll have conflicting emotions. On one hand, it'll warm her heart to know that her favorite musician of all time (she's seen him in concert over 30 times in the past 20 years) has made her kid's list. On the other hand, this is among her least favorite of his songs, so she'll be disappointed I chose this one. But it HAD to be this one. When I first came to love this song I was a little patriotic brat, reading books about WWII and putting American flag stickers on everything. Literally, everything. Little did I know at the time that this song was actually a protest song denouncing our part in world violence. Oh well.

IX. Too Much Time On My Hands - Styx

One of my earliest favorite bands that I ever had. While my humble musical beginnings will always reside in the land of "Weird Al", I quickly transitioned into the world of classic rock, or as it's being called now, dad rock. They remain as one of the most consistent live acts I've seen, but sadly their studio work took a hard decline after the 90s. However, their 80s work are masterpieces and will continue to be some of the most spun LPs in my collection.

X. Up Around The Bend - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Listen to that intro riff. Need I say more? I love everything about this song, the riff, the rhythm section, the lyrics, John Fogerty's raspy wail, everything. This was one of my favorite tracks to play on Rock Band as a kid. My oldest sister and I formed a band called BUTTNUTS that would crush this song, every time.

XI. Tie Your Mother Down - Queen

I don't really have a deep personal connection to this one, but everyone and their grandmother on this planet loves Queen. So of course I do, too. And I really didn't wanna put We Will Rock You on here, as that was the first Queen song I heard and got into. Every kid on the school bus would pound on the seats and sing that song. It's what we did. But TYMD is among my favorites in their catalogue, so it deserves a spot on the list instead.

XII. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

It's simple, really. You either LOVE Joan Jett, or you're wrong. She is the definition of badass. Seeing her play at a town fair when I was really young truly changed my life. She was my first musical crush, and even though she is significantly older than me now, nothing has changed. I fucking love Joan Jett, and everything she has done for music. Not just for me, but worldwide.

XIII. Freeze Frame - The J. Geils Band

This is another one from my days growing up in the backseat of my mom's Buick. She had the greatest hits of J. Geils as one of the CDs in her collection that wasn't Bruce Springsteen, and together we wore that CD out. I loved the poppy-rock-ness (or rocky pop-ness) of the band, especially on this track. It was loud, fun, and in your face, which is exactly what a good pop-rock song should be.

XIV. Little Willy - The Sweet

Another one of my earliest favorite bands. Today they remain my favorite glam rock band of all time. Google image them if you're not familiar, and witness the magic of their glitter capes. You probably know them best for Ballroom Blitz, which has been used in hundreds of TV shows and movies over the years, and it's been covered countless times, by personal favorite bands Offspring and Krokus, among many others. But this song was always a favorite of mine, even in the days before I knew the innuendo behind the lyrics.

Thank you for indulging me and coming with this ride of nostalgia with me. I hope it was worth the wait, and I also hope that if any of you are so inclined to actually listen to the songs on this list, that you enjoy learning something about me.

Synic Selects Vol. V - The Songs That Shaped Me

1. Hells Bells - AC/DC

2. Original Prankster - The Offspring

3. Gump - "Weird Al" Yankovic

4. Right Now - Van Halen

5. Low Rider - War

6. How You Remind Me - Nickelback

7. Down With The Sickness - Disturbed

8. Born in the USA - Bruce Springsteen

9. Too Much Time On My Hands - Styx

10. Up Around The Bend - Creedence Clearwater Revival

11. Tie Your Mother Down - Queen

12. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

13. Freeze Frame - The J Geils Band

14. Little Willy - The Sweet

Synergy - Gardner & James

Sheesh, where does the time go guys? I apologize for the 8-day hiatus I had to take between posts, but due to circumstances beyond my control, circumstances in the form of a tropical storm that claimed the life of my electricity and WiFi for several days... I was unable to craft a new post and continue spreading the good word. But here's the good news: I'm BACK. And not only am I back, but so is Janet Gardner with her new solo (now duo) record Synergy.

Synergy just dropped yesterday, and I can tell you honestly that I've already listened to it, front to back, 4 times. Something about this record hit me differently than her two previous solo efforts did. There was no immediate connection for me on this one like there was on her self titled solo debut or her sophomore record Your Place In The Sun. But this could simply be due to the fact that I was very distracted with other things while experiencing the album for the first time. And that's just simply unfair. Janet deserves a fair shot. So I sat and focused on it for it's second play. And it's third play. And as I write this post, it's fourth play.

The opening track, "Wounded," to no surprise at all, is a strong hard rocking jam that prepares your auditory palette for the onslaught of headbangers to come (is that the right term? auditory palette? fuck it, who cares). Synergy delivers 11 tracks to all fans of Janet, be them new fans or loyal listeners from her days fronting all-girl glam metal band Vixen. 11 tracks of pure rock. The second track features a driving groove and edgy attitude, which is perfectly encapsulated by the tracks title: "You Can Kiss This." The first slow ballad doesn't arrive until track 6. And while it may be a slow one, it fully compliments the other songs on the album, and fits right in. Much like Skid Row's "Wasted Time" from Slave to the Grind, and you all know how much I love that record.

Each track on this record is just as driving as its predecessor, with each flaunting a sexy new riff, engaging groove, and the sassy angsty vocals of Janet Gardner, whose rock talents prove yet again to be aging like a fine wine. For me personally, the weakest moment on this record comes at the very end, with its closing track (and if memory serves, the second single from the album, possibly third). The closing track was inspired and written entirely about being quarantined during the Coronavirus pandemic. And while I fully understand why the song exists, I almost wish it didn't. It's certainly a fun song to listen to instrumentally, but when I'm looking to listen to music during the quarantine, I'm looking to forget about the virus. Not sing about it. I don't know about you, but "Talk To Myself" just doesn't hit. It would perhaps make a fun bonus track, but something tells me it won't age quite as well as Janet herself, or the other tracks on this record.

If you had asked me 3-4 years ago how I felt about Janet departing from the other girls in Vixen, I would've told you that I was sad to see her go. I had the pleasure of seeing Janet fronting Vixen on stage before, and it was truly something special. But due to some creative differences, both parties decided that them parting company would be the best move. And now here we are, 3 albums later, and I find myself somehow grateful for Janet's departure. Her solo records are unlike anything that came before it. It most closely resembles her last studio album with Vixen, Tangerine, but even that is something entirely its own. Gardner/James is the musical marriage we've been waiting for, and with 3 records being delivered over a span of just 3 years, they are showing no signs of slowing down.

Synergy - Gardner/James

8 - 7 - 2020

1. Wounded

2. You Can Kiss This

3. Rise Up

4. Running To Her

5. Lonely We Fight

6. Say You Will

7. I Promise

8. On A Wire

9. Gone

10. Flying On Faith

11. Talk To Myself

Favorite Track: You Can Kiss This

Least Favorite Track: Talk To Myself

Rating: 7.8/10