Truth be told, guys, I really didn't know how to follow my last Synic Selects compilation. The Songs That Shaped Me was deeply personal, and writing it was immensely reflective, nostalgic, and just plain fun to throw together. So how the hell do I follow that?
Then I realized, you guys have heard enough gushing from me about the handful of bands listed below, maybe it's time I talk some shit about them. Nobody's perfect, and my favorite bands are no exception to the rule. So below is a collection of the songs I find to be the most overrated, by the bands that I hold the highest above the rest. Keep in mind that I am not saying the songs below are each band's worst song, just simply the one I consider to be the most overrated. So remember that before your feelings get hurt.
Hope you get a kick out of it, though admittedly all I could do was cringe while putting this playlist together.
1. AC/DC - Shoot To Thrill
It's no secret to any of you that AC/DC are my favorite band of all time. That in mind, it is my belief that every song they've ever shat out is pure gold. Or multi-platinum, in the case of 1980's Back In Black. BIB is the band's massive break-through record featuring 10 tracks, 10 hits. Here we are now, 40 years later and you still can't listen to classic rock radio for an hour without hearing one of the songs from this record. However, I can almost guarantee that it will pretty much always be either "Hell's Bells," "You Shook Me...," "Back In Black," or "Shoot To Thrill." But... why? In a 5-star record such as this how can you possibly select just a small handful to keep in the regular shuffle 40 years later? I especially find myself questioning the longevity of the powerful-yet-generic "Shoot To Thrill." If anything, this song to me, purely exists to foreshadow the bands plummet down the rabbit hole of writing songs exclusively about rock n roll and sex. So why is "Shoot To Thrill" a setlist staple for the band, but the tragically under appreciated "What Do You Do For Money Honey," "Let Me Put My Love Into You," and "Shake A Leg" are widely ignored? Riddle me that.
2. The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)
Every novice Offspring fan's favorite song, every true long-time Offspring fan's least favorite. I will admit, there was a time when I truly loved this song. Maybe a part of me still does. But there is no reason why this song was such a massive hit, and now permanent setlist fixture, for an established PUNK band. Granted, The Offspring sway from the punk definition on every record, but very rarely do one of these odd tracks become such a beloved track. Americana contains two such songs: "Pretty Fly" and "Why Don't You Get A Job?" If "Get A Job" charted higher than "Pretty Fly," then that one would have made the list instead.
3. Van Halen - Jump
Van Halen's ONLY #1 song. Why? Because it's the most typical-80s crap the band ever produced. Guitar God Eddie Van Halen wicked around with a synthesizer and wrote a silly tune so dumb that even Dave didn't want to write lyrics to it. When he finally did, he wrote them about a man on a ledge who didn't have the balls to jump. True story. So let me be clear here: fuck "Jump." So before you hop on the bandwagon and blame Sammy Hagar for the band's transition to synthesizers instead of face-melting riffs, blame the success of this atrocity of a song.
4. Halestorm - Do Not Disturb
I did not immediately dislike this song when I first heard it, but I didn't necessarily love it either. Truth be told, anything Lzzy and Co. produce is something I will most likely enjoy. But this song is one that I quickly grew tired of. Lyrically, its arousing and dirty rock n roll, which you know I love. But sonically? It's very meh. It's entirely rhythm driven, with a rather boring rhythm that the entire composition is based around. Complete with a somewhat forgettable guitar riff, I find myself wondering why this song was a lead single rather than some of the stronger tracks that come later on the record.
5. Disturbed - Stupify
I could talk for HOURS about how important to me The Sickness is. I love this album. I don't love every track, in fact there are a couple that I will skip 9 out of 10 times. While Stupify is not my least favorite track on the record, it is the highest-charting track that I often find myself skipping and wondering why it is such a staple for the band's live show. Maybe it is because of the band-crowd interaction it inspires, "all the people in the left wing... all the people in the right wing... etc," but regardless, The Sickness contains other tracks that I find to be far superior and under-appreciated compared to this one. "God of the Mind" and "Meaning of Life" specifically come to mind.
6. Joan Jett - Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah!)
One of Joan Jett's long string of hits that she didn't write. I love Joan Jett, I can't imagine a world without her, but look at her setlists from the last 30 years. if she plays 16 songs, 14-15 of them are covers. So of all of these, why did I pick "Do You Wanna Touch Me?" Easy. Gary Glitter. Not only is the song itself just simply mindless and dumb, but Gary Glitter himself is a truly disgusting human being. Browse his wikipedia page if you are unfamiliar, then forget he ever existed and pretend that Joan wrote this song herself, like the rest of the world has been doing since 1981.
7. Stevie Ray Vaughan - Pride & Joy
Refer to my earlier point about "Shoot To Thrill." Over the course of his career, SRV wrote countless blues jams and powerful riffs that redefined Texas blues-rock. So why is it that when you turn on the radio and IF he comes on at all, it is ALWAYS "Pride & Joy?" Explain this to me. Please. I could blindly pull a song from his discography and I guarantee I will have pulled a lesser-known track that I would rather listen to 10/10 times over P&J. Is it a bad song? Of course not. But SRV definitely has better.
8. Warrant - Cherry Pie
This is a song that even the band wishes didn't exist. When they were cutting their sophomore record, Warrant originally intended for it to be titled after the lead single, "Uncle Tom's Cabin," however the record company felt that they needed a stronger, more anthemic track to serve as the lead single. So, an annoyed band wrote and slapped together "Cherry Pie," one of their biggest hits (and permanent encore track) ever. An obvious and lazy metaphor, with obnoxious and repetitive lyrics. I find it personally offensive that something as lyrically juvenile could ever supersede something as brilliantly written as "Uncle Tom's Cabin." There are several other tracks on this record that I believe far outshine "Cherry Pie" as well. Needless to say, if I were building a Warrant mixtape, "Cherry Pie" would be the LAST track I thought to include.
9. Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home
Full disclosure, I don't have much to say about this one. It's a good power ballad, but they have better songs than this one. I listen to it regularly, but it is far from my favorite of their catalogue.
10. Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding
This is the only charting single from 5FDP's debut record. Even from someone who loves metal such as myself, this one is too much for me. It is instrumentally disengaging, and the vocals are very tragically delivered. Ivan sacrifices his surprisingly beautiful singing voice for his agonizingly abrasive screams and wails. Good news, though. The album includes an acoustic version of the song as a bonus track. The bad news, it's somehow just as bad as the original. Of all the songs on this playlist, there are really only two that I truly dislike. This is one of them.
11. Nickelback - Photograph
This is the other one.
12. Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
The iconic riff to this came from a warm-up session Slash was noodling around with before heading into the studio to record Appetite For Destruction. Axl loved the riff so much he demanded they record it. So they had a full tracks worth of guitar, bass and drums, but they only had half a song's worth of lyrics. So in the studio, Axl found himself asking the band "Where do we go now? Where do we go?" But they ran out of ideas, so they recorded 2 minutes worth of "Where do we go now?" This is arguably one of the most iconic rock songs ever recorded, but it is far from the best track on Appetite. (Looking at you, Nightrain...)
Bonus: "Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins
This is far from being "Weird Al"'s highest-charting track, but it IS a parody of the also overrated "American Pie" by Don McClean. The lyrics are simply a synopsis of The Phantom Menace, which is Episode 1 of the ALSO highly-overrated Star Wars movie franchise. What's more, this song will be 50% of Al's encores at every live show he will perform from 1999 to present. That said, I will still sing every word along with him when I am in the audience, but I will also tell you 10/10 times that I would've rather heard literally any other song that he recorded. Enough is enough, bro.
So anyway, that's it. You made it to the end. Congratulations. Or should I say I'm sorry? Either way, thanks for tuning in.
Synic Selects Vol. VI: The Over-Playlist
1. AC/DC - Shoot To Thrill
2. The Offspring - Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)
3. Van Halen - Jump
4. Halestorm - Do Not Disturb
5. Disturbed - Stupify
6. Joan Jett - Do You Wanna Touch Me? (Oh Yeah!)
7. Stevie Ray Vaughan - Pride & Joy
8. Warrant - Cherry Pie
9. Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home
10. Five Finger Death Punch - The Bleeding
11. Nickelback - Photograph
12. Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
Bonus: "Weird Al" Yankovic - The Saga Begins
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