Synic Selects Vol. V - The Songs That Shaped Me

 Damn I really dropped the ball lately, huh? In my last post I made such a big deal out of returning to the blog after a week of inactivity, and here it's been 2 weeks without a single new post. There has been new music in that timespan, of course, but nothing that I felt the overwhelming need to discuss. So instead, I got to work on what is now SSVV. Synic Selects Vol. V: The Songs That Shaped Me. Is that title pretentious enough? I'm not sure that it is...

Anyway, I wanted to really take my time and reflect for this one, as my 5th installment of Synic Selects I felt it had to be something special. So what follows is a compilation of songs that quite literally shaped my music tastes, and made me into the cynical music snob that I am today. Some tracks will be obvious, but others may surprise you. Enjoy, and get ready to read. Maybe bring your phone to the can with you, or if you really don't give a shit about my personal connections to the music just scroll down to the end.

I. Hells Bells - AC/DC

This one should come as no surprise. It is the song that, in simplest terms, changed my life. How many songs do you have that you could tell me the exact moment you first remember hearing it? Well I can with this one. I'll spare you my retelling of this story, as I feel like I may have already given it in a previous post. If I'm wrong about that, stay tuned for a future update with the whole flashback. And although I've been banging my head to this track for many years now, something about that bell still shoots chills up my spine. Ride on, Bon.

II. Original Prankster - The Offspring

Another possibly obvious one to some of my readers, and a definitely obvious one for my family and friends. Without completely aging myself, I really feel like I grew up with The Offspring. I've known their songs for as long as I can remember, as my dad is a big fan as well. In fact, I have him to thank for my love of this song, and the band as well. Fun anecdote about this song, when I was a very young little tike, riding in the backseat of my dad's truck, cramped between my two sisters, this song came on as one of the tracks of his favorite mix CD. (It came to be known as the infamous Truck Mix in our house) It came on, and I was into it right away. However, as the second verse started, with the un-clever lyric "You know it smells like shit, God damn..." my dad cleared his throat and skipped to the next song. He didn't want his kids to be exposed to such harsh language at such an early age. But it was too late, the damage had been done. His youngest child, yours truly, spoke up: "Hey dad, can we listen to that 'you know it smells like shit' song again?" My sisters were shocked, and silence befell the truck. Finally my dad said: "Don't tell your mother" and started the song over again for me. Thanks, dad.

III. Gump - "Weird Al" Yankovic

Another obvious one. I mean, my obsession for all things Yankovic started pretty much at birth. The first CD in my collection was Bad Hair Day and the first CD I remember buying with my own money was another from Al's discography. My first favorite "Weird Al" song was Gump, and I knew all the words to it before I had even seen the movie.

IV. Right Now - Van Halen

This is not the song that made me a fan of Van Halen. The credit for that goes to Hot For Teacher and Ice Cream Man. However, this is the song that put VH as my 2nd favorite band of all time. Though, truth be told they kind of play jump rope with The Offspring for that position... The keyboard intro to Right Now, when I first heard it, gave me a similar chill to that of the church bell from Hells Bells. And any song that can make me feel that way every time without fail, deserves a spot on this list.

V. Low Rider - War

The cowbell. Oh, man, that cowbell. I fell in love with this song when my sister's high school sports band used to play it at football games every week. As soon as I heard that cowbell intro for the first time, I looked at my parents and said, with an adorable lisp, I might add, "I wanna be a percussionist." What little kid even knows that word? I did, bitch. Years later, I STILL wanna be a percussionist. Someday I'll buy me a cowbell.

VI. How You Remind Me - Nickelback

Did I lose you guys with this one? I'm sure many of you scoffed at the thought of Nickelback making the list. If you have a legitimate reason to dislike NB, fine. Skip ahead to the next song. But if you're one of those bandwagoners that hates them because internet memes told you to, get over yourself. HYRM is not their best song, in my opinion, but it is the song that introduced me to the band and made me a fan. I still remember growing up in the backseat of my mom's Buick Rendezvous singing along to this song with her.

VII. Down With The Sickness - Disturbed

I know what you're thinking, 'of all the Disturbed songs, of course it had to be THIS one... ugh, typical.' Well, yes. It had to be this one. It's not my favorite Disturbed song, not by a long shot, but it is the first metal song that I ever really loved. Say what you will about it being overplayed, but the OOWAHAHAHA really just grabs you the first time, doesn't it? This is the song that started me on the metal path. All these years later, I am a massive metal fan, and an even bigger Disturbed fan. And I can just never bring myself to skip this song when it comes on.

VIII. Born In The USA - Bruce Springsteen

If my mother ever reads this list, as soon as she sees this song she'll have conflicting emotions. On one hand, it'll warm her heart to know that her favorite musician of all time (she's seen him in concert over 30 times in the past 20 years) has made her kid's list. On the other hand, this is among her least favorite of his songs, so she'll be disappointed I chose this one. But it HAD to be this one. When I first came to love this song I was a little patriotic brat, reading books about WWII and putting American flag stickers on everything. Literally, everything. Little did I know at the time that this song was actually a protest song denouncing our part in world violence. Oh well.

IX. Too Much Time On My Hands - Styx

One of my earliest favorite bands that I ever had. While my humble musical beginnings will always reside in the land of "Weird Al", I quickly transitioned into the world of classic rock, or as it's being called now, dad rock. They remain as one of the most consistent live acts I've seen, but sadly their studio work took a hard decline after the 90s. However, their 80s work are masterpieces and will continue to be some of the most spun LPs in my collection.

X. Up Around The Bend - Creedence Clearwater Revival

Listen to that intro riff. Need I say more? I love everything about this song, the riff, the rhythm section, the lyrics, John Fogerty's raspy wail, everything. This was one of my favorite tracks to play on Rock Band as a kid. My oldest sister and I formed a band called BUTTNUTS that would crush this song, every time.

XI. Tie Your Mother Down - Queen

I don't really have a deep personal connection to this one, but everyone and their grandmother on this planet loves Queen. So of course I do, too. And I really didn't wanna put We Will Rock You on here, as that was the first Queen song I heard and got into. Every kid on the school bus would pound on the seats and sing that song. It's what we did. But TYMD is among my favorites in their catalogue, so it deserves a spot on the list instead.

XII. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

It's simple, really. You either LOVE Joan Jett, or you're wrong. She is the definition of badass. Seeing her play at a town fair when I was really young truly changed my life. She was my first musical crush, and even though she is significantly older than me now, nothing has changed. I fucking love Joan Jett, and everything she has done for music. Not just for me, but worldwide.

XIII. Freeze Frame - The J. Geils Band

This is another one from my days growing up in the backseat of my mom's Buick. She had the greatest hits of J. Geils as one of the CDs in her collection that wasn't Bruce Springsteen, and together we wore that CD out. I loved the poppy-rock-ness (or rocky pop-ness) of the band, especially on this track. It was loud, fun, and in your face, which is exactly what a good pop-rock song should be.

XIV. Little Willy - The Sweet

Another one of my earliest favorite bands. Today they remain my favorite glam rock band of all time. Google image them if you're not familiar, and witness the magic of their glitter capes. You probably know them best for Ballroom Blitz, which has been used in hundreds of TV shows and movies over the years, and it's been covered countless times, by personal favorite bands Offspring and Krokus, among many others. But this song was always a favorite of mine, even in the days before I knew the innuendo behind the lyrics.

Thank you for indulging me and coming with this ride of nostalgia with me. I hope it was worth the wait, and I also hope that if any of you are so inclined to actually listen to the songs on this list, that you enjoy learning something about me.

Synic Selects Vol. V - The Songs That Shaped Me

1. Hells Bells - AC/DC

2. Original Prankster - The Offspring

3. Gump - "Weird Al" Yankovic

4. Right Now - Van Halen

5. Low Rider - War

6. How You Remind Me - Nickelback

7. Down With The Sickness - Disturbed

8. Born in the USA - Bruce Springsteen

9. Too Much Time On My Hands - Styx

10. Up Around The Bend - Creedence Clearwater Revival

11. Tie Your Mother Down - Queen

12. Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & The Blackhearts

13. Freeze Frame - The J Geils Band

14. Little Willy - The Sweet

Synergy - Gardner & James

Sheesh, where does the time go guys? I apologize for the 8-day hiatus I had to take between posts, but due to circumstances beyond my control, circumstances in the form of a tropical storm that claimed the life of my electricity and WiFi for several days... I was unable to craft a new post and continue spreading the good word. But here's the good news: I'm BACK. And not only am I back, but so is Janet Gardner with her new solo (now duo) record Synergy.

Synergy just dropped yesterday, and I can tell you honestly that I've already listened to it, front to back, 4 times. Something about this record hit me differently than her two previous solo efforts did. There was no immediate connection for me on this one like there was on her self titled solo debut or her sophomore record Your Place In The Sun. But this could simply be due to the fact that I was very distracted with other things while experiencing the album for the first time. And that's just simply unfair. Janet deserves a fair shot. So I sat and focused on it for it's second play. And it's third play. And as I write this post, it's fourth play.

The opening track, "Wounded," to no surprise at all, is a strong hard rocking jam that prepares your auditory palette for the onslaught of headbangers to come (is that the right term? auditory palette? fuck it, who cares). Synergy delivers 11 tracks to all fans of Janet, be them new fans or loyal listeners from her days fronting all-girl glam metal band Vixen. 11 tracks of pure rock. The second track features a driving groove and edgy attitude, which is perfectly encapsulated by the tracks title: "You Can Kiss This." The first slow ballad doesn't arrive until track 6. And while it may be a slow one, it fully compliments the other songs on the album, and fits right in. Much like Skid Row's "Wasted Time" from Slave to the Grind, and you all know how much I love that record.

Each track on this record is just as driving as its predecessor, with each flaunting a sexy new riff, engaging groove, and the sassy angsty vocals of Janet Gardner, whose rock talents prove yet again to be aging like a fine wine. For me personally, the weakest moment on this record comes at the very end, with its closing track (and if memory serves, the second single from the album, possibly third). The closing track was inspired and written entirely about being quarantined during the Coronavirus pandemic. And while I fully understand why the song exists, I almost wish it didn't. It's certainly a fun song to listen to instrumentally, but when I'm looking to listen to music during the quarantine, I'm looking to forget about the virus. Not sing about it. I don't know about you, but "Talk To Myself" just doesn't hit. It would perhaps make a fun bonus track, but something tells me it won't age quite as well as Janet herself, or the other tracks on this record.

If you had asked me 3-4 years ago how I felt about Janet departing from the other girls in Vixen, I would've told you that I was sad to see her go. I had the pleasure of seeing Janet fronting Vixen on stage before, and it was truly something special. But due to some creative differences, both parties decided that them parting company would be the best move. And now here we are, 3 albums later, and I find myself somehow grateful for Janet's departure. Her solo records are unlike anything that came before it. It most closely resembles her last studio album with Vixen, Tangerine, but even that is something entirely its own. Gardner/James is the musical marriage we've been waiting for, and with 3 records being delivered over a span of just 3 years, they are showing no signs of slowing down.

Synergy - Gardner/James

8 - 7 - 2020

1. Wounded

2. You Can Kiss This

3. Rise Up

4. Running To Her

5. Lonely We Fight

6. Say You Will

7. I Promise

8. On A Wire

9. Gone

10. Flying On Faith

11. Talk To Myself

Favorite Track: You Can Kiss This

Least Favorite Track: Talk To Myself

Rating: 7.8/10